"Shrinking Woman"

I don't know the first time I saw this video, but I remember the way it impacted me, and the feeling it left me. I think in so many ways even the title perfectly captures what has happened to women over time. 

When she talks about how every question she asked in class started with the word sorry, I could complete relate to that. How many of us feel as if we are intruding, being obnoxious, interrupting, etc. when we have a question or something to add to a discussion? In a classroom where you are at to learn, why must one feel the need to apologize when they are asking a question, asking to LEARN something? This is not something to apologize for, and yet more often than not, it seems that women DO apologize. Perhaps they feel "sorry" for not understanding, or for interrupting, but, one has the right to be confused, to ask a question when they need clarification, it is not something to apologize for. 
Why must we feel the need to always use the word sorry? There is definitely a time and a place to use the word, but in so many ways it has become over used and in some ways has lost its meaning. 

Women have been shrinking for so very long, feeling the need to take up less space, to make room for others, not just men. It seems to be more of the norm for women to think that they are not a priority, that they need to make time, space, room, etc. for everyone else in their life, to appease others, sacrifice themselves, etc. What is the cause and purpose of this? Is the "shrinking woman" really benefiting ANYONE by "shrinking"? Is she doing good in the world by allowing others to "invade" her space and take over her life? I think the quote from Marianne Williamson best answers that.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. 

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. 

It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give

other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

This has long been one of my favorite quotes/poems. I wrote about it in another post. 

I think throughout history they have always been those women who realize that "shrinking" is not the best way to live and serve the world. One does need to be overpowering, domineering, thoughtless, or selfish and does not become those things by NOT shrinking. There is a balance between realizing your own worth and living your own life and helping others. Some women go too far one way or the other, but in my view shrinking is just as harmful as being thoughtless and selfish. "There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."